Saturday, February 9, 2013

Stop My Divorce Change Yourself First

Are you saying “stop my divorce?”  Is your spouse taking you to divorce court and you want to put the brakes on the legal proceedings?  Do you really want your relationship to work?  If so, here’s how to stop my divorce.

First of all, you have to realize that no matter what your spouse’s reasons for the divorce are, there was something he or she was not getting from the relationship.  In other words, if you want to stop my divorce, you are going to have to make some concrete changes to your life.

It can be helpful to go to a therapist to find out what those reasons were.  But, don’t let the therapist convince you that the divorce is all your ex’s fault.  Instead, work on the issues that you have in your life that would have caused your ex to want to leave you.

One way to do this is to really listen to what your ex is saying.  Does he say that you are too involved with the children and don’t pay enough attention to you?  Does she say you are too involved with work and don’t pay enough attention to you?


More Advice On How To Stop Your Divorce


Sometimes financial strain is at the heart of  a marital break up.  Especially in this unsound economy, money woes can cause divorces.  If you want to stop my divorce, you need to address the financial concerns and make a plan for the future.  Remember, it will cost more for you to live apart than it would for you to live together on a restricted budget.

Other times, one party has fallen in love with someone else.  They want to leave you to take up a relationship with a new person.  Is there any way to stop my divorce when adultery has happened?

Of course, this break in marital trust is hard to deal with, but these hurts can be healed.  If you are the victim of a cheating spouse, you need to look hard at what went wrong.  Remember, they wouldn’t have looked elsewhere if they were getting their emotional and sexual needs met at home.  If you want to win them back, you have got to work on changing your own patterns.

In most of history, divorce was not an option in civilized society.  When you took your marriage vows, it really was “til death do us part.”  But, now divorce is easy.  In 49 states, all you have to do is state that you have irreconcilable differences and the Judge will grant the divorce.

In an era of easy divorce, what can you do to save my marriage?  You can begin by looking at what the strains on the marriage were and trying to see if you can improve yourself.  You can’t change your spouse.  If you badger him or her into counseling but they aren’t committed to change, it won’t take.  But, if you change yourself, you may find that your spouse is changing too.

If you really want to save my marriage, begin by changing the only person you can – and that’s you.

1 comment:

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