Holy Smokes! Did you just find out that your significant other is cheating on you? But you really like this person and you want to save the relationship if it's possible. In order to do that you must commit yourself to doing so.
Were you aware that "cheating" in a relationship is one of the primary reasons most couples end up parting ways. Many therapist world wide believe it is the primary one. And the reason for that is the lost trust factor.
The lost trust factor causes the one being stepped out on to question every single thing in the relationship. Not only what's going on now, but what has gone on in the past and what will go on in the future. One question after another pops into the deep recesses of our mind and into our dreams...
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- Have they ever been faithful to me?
- Did they lie about their past?
- Are they lying to me every time I ask a question?
- Are they lying when they say they love me?
And the truth of the matter is the questions will likely go on for a long time.
However, you can possibly avoid falling into the abyss of a cheating relationship by being aware something might be going on. For instance what about affection, lack of or an inordinate amount of extra affection. In case of the extra affection, it may be an attempt to cover up a guilty conscience.
The lack of affection can well be caused by the cheater trying to maintain two or more relationships at a time. Especially if there had been no problems about displays of affection prior to the sudden drop off.
Has your lover suddenly started becoming defensive when you ask questions about the relationship. Questions such as:
- How come your late for dinner again tonight?
- What gives with all the overtime this last month?
- How come you're not getting paid for the overtime?
- Your clothes smell like someone else?
- Why didn't you call and let me know you were going to be late?
Your partner may well get so angry with these types of questions, they resort to physical or emotional abuse. In the event physical abuse comes from the anger you should immediately call the police. Even if there is a guilty conscience for cheating, there is no excuse for physical abuse.
In some cases their may be no physical abuse but emotional abuse. Many therapist feel the emotional abuse may cause the wronged person to suffer for a lifetime.
Again if emotional abuse is being heaped on you; seek help from a qualified third party. With the right help both you and your partner may be able to salvage the "trust factor" and move forward. However, if your partner is unwilling to seek help it may well be time for you to move on; even though you love the other person.
Now it is decision time on your part; as you know the signs of a cheating, dating relationship. Your decision to work on the relationship is yours to make.
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