4 Stages of Emotions Following a Break Up

Love is such an amazing emotion that makes life meaningful and happy.  When you are in a loving relationship you are on top of the world and going through the happiest time of your life.  But what if that relationship turns sour?  Unfortunately, even the best of relationships will have some issues and if they aren't resolved they can lead to the end of the relationship.  A person can go from being on top of the world to being on the bottom of the earth when their relationship reaches break up point.

When your relationship breaks up your heart is broken and the pain you feel is incredibly sharp and real.  Everyone reacts differently to relationship break ups and some will cope better than others.  Here are the general stages that one will experience when going through a relationship break up.

Stage One:  When your relationship comes to an end you will feel shock.  If you knew there was trouble and a break up was heading your way then the shock might not be as great, but there will still be some degree of shock.  If you were still happy in the relationship but your partner ended it out of the blue, then the shock you will feel will be very strong.

Stage Two:  The second stage of a break up is when you refuse to believe that the relationship is over.  Perhaps you have been in denial that there have been any problems occurring within your relationship and don't want to accept that the relationship is now over.  You might try to convince yourself that it is just a temporary setback that you will be able to resolve.  Unfortunately, if your partner has broken off the relationship then it might be too late to resolve any problems that have been building up over time.

Stage Three:  Next you might begin to experience some depression.  Feeling depressed is a completely normal reaction following a relationship break up.  No-one enjoys ending a relationship and even if you are the partner that chose to end the relationship you will still experience sadness at the end of this major stage of your life.  It is best to try and move on and keep yourself busy so you don't spend all your time thinking about it.

Stage Four:  The last stage of emotions following a break up is acceptance.  Although it can take time to reach this stage, once you accept that the relationship is over then you can move on with your life.  Be happy that you were able to experience a loving relationship for a short time and put the relationship and the break up down to experience.  This whole experience will make you stronger and help you grow into the person you are today.  Once you have accepted that the relationship is over then you can move on and be open to meeting someone new.

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Are You In A Cheating Dating Relationship?

Holy Smokes! Did you just find out that your significant other is cheating on you? But you really like this person and you want to save the relationship if it's possible. In order to do that you must commit yourself to doing so.

Were you aware that "cheating" in a relationship is one of the primary reasons most couples end up parting ways. Many therapist world wide believe it is the primary one. And the reason for that is the lost trust factor.

The lost trust factor causes the one being stepped out on to question every single thing in the relationship. Not only what's going on now, but what has gone on in the past and what will go on in the future. One question after another pops into the deep recesses of our mind and into our dreams...
 

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1. Have they ever been faithful to me?
2. Did they lie about their past?
3. Are they lying to me every time I ask a question?
4. Are they lying when they say they love me?

And the truth of the matter is the questions will likely go on for a long time.

However, you can possibly avoid falling into the abyss of a cheating relationship by being aware something might be going on. For instance what about affection, lack of or an inordinate amount of extra affection. In case of the extra affection, it may be an attempt to cover up a guilty conscience.

The lack of affection can well be caused by the cheater trying to maintain two or more relationships at a time. Especially if there had been no problems about displays of affection prior to the sudden drop off.

Has your lover suddenly started becoming defensive when you ask questions about the relationship. Questions such as:

1. How come your late for dinner again tonight?
2. What gives with all the overtime this last month?
3. How come you're not getting paid for the overtime? 
4. Your clothes smell like someone else?
5. Why didn't you call and let me know you were going to be late?

Your partner may well get so angry with these types of questions, they resort to physical or emotional abuse. In the event physical abuse comes from the anger you should immediately call the police. Even if there is a guilty conscience for cheating, there is no excuse for physical abuse.

In some cases their may be no physical abuse but emotional abuse. Many therapist feel the emotional abuse may cause the wronged person to suffer for a lifetime.

Again if emotional abuse is being heaped on you; seek help from a qualified third party. With the right help both you and your partner may be able to salvage the "trust factor" and move forward. However, if your partner is unwilling to seek help it may well be time for you to move on; even though you love the other person.

Now it is decision time on your part; as you know the signs of a cheating, dating relationship. Your decision to work on the relationship is yours to make.

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A Relationship Breakup - You Will Get Over It

After a relationship breakup, everything in the world can seem bleak and depressing. The most important thing to remember is that this is a normal reaction. Anytime anything "bad" happens to us, we go through a period of grieving. A relationship breakup is no exception.

When a relationship ends, you have a loss. There is the loss of a person from your life who you've spent lots of time with. The intimacy you shared with this person now feels gone, and it's common to think you will never have or sometimes even want that with another person. Breaking up can simply feel like the end of the world.

But it's not! You need to put your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in the proper perspective so you can move on. This isn't easy to do, but it’s important that you start trying as soon as possible. 

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You'll get tons of advice on how to deal with a relationship breakup. You'll hear everything from “burn all your pictures” to “hop back on the horse and find another relationship.” You will know which approach is best for you, no matter what anyone says. Don’t try something that worked for someone else if it doesn't feel right.

Give yourself permission to feel bad at first. Whenever you have a loss you go through the same stages of grief as you do when there’s a death or any type of ending, with the degree of feeling varying from situation to situation.

1. Denial is the first stage of loss after anything difficult like the end of a relationship. This can't be happening!

2. Next, pain and guilt set in after the shock and denial start to fade.

3. Anger comes next, as does something called bargaining. If I do this or don't do that, maybe we can get back together. I'll never look at another man as long as I live, if only . . . .

4. Depression and loneliness set in, once it's clear that bargaining won't change the painful truth.

5. The next step is the lessening of depression when things start to seem a little better.

6. Then comes the hard part of working through it and getting past it.

7. The last stage of grief after a relationship breakup or any loss is acceptance, and hope for a better future.

It can help to try to figure out which stage you're in, and to know that everyone experiences something along these lines. Not everyone will go through every stage and they might not even be in order.

You might never start bargaining, for instance, especially if you know it's really and truly over. But most people's grief process will follow that general pattern. It's important to recognize that there is a final stage, and that stage means you've gotten past it.

Try to put your relationship breakup into perspective with other important things that have happened and will happen in your life, and remember that you'll eventually get to the acceptance stage, too.

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Relationships - Break Up Or Make Up

How do you know when it’s really all over?  Is it when one of you calls it quits?  Or, is there still hope even when someone has walked out?  This article will look at relationships – break up or make up.

There are numerous reasons that relationships break up.  Some of them are even good reasons.  For instance, if you are just leading your partner on, it is right to cut him or her loose.  If he or she isn’t trustworthy, that is a good reason for a break up.  Of course, sometimes people’s lives change and the partner no longer fits into the total picture, in which case, it is good to end the relationship.

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So, when do you make up? 

There are two components to saving a relationship.  First of all, you have to both love each other.  But that alone is not enough to save relationships from breaking up.  For instance, partners of different religious faiths may love each other but find that love alone can’t bridge the difference in their outlook for the future.

You also have to be able to see a future together.  If you can’t see the person in your life in six months, you might as well separate now, even if you have a real bond of affection.  And, if this is a serious relationship and you can’t see yourself marrying your partner, you will be doing both of you a favor by calling it quits.

If you are going to make up, you need to reflect on the relationship’s break up.  Why did things go sour?  When you have identified the root causes of the split, you can begin to fix things.

It may take time to fix things.  While your ex may not be willing to jump back into bed with you, they might be willing to be friends and to work on the relationship.  In fact, after a relationship’s break up, you may not want to start right back where you left off.  Instead, take some time to rebuild the romance in your lives.

Here is some advice for people who are wondering whether to break up or make up.

First of all, listen more than you talk.  Don’t always try to explain your position.  Try to understand your ex’s.  Also, listen without planning a rebuttal.

Next, remember to do the things your ex likes.  If she likes it when you buy her flowers, get a dozen roses.  If he likes it when you go to his football scrimmages, go.  This shows that you pay attention to their wants and needs.

Show your ex that they are on your mind even when you are not around.  You can do this by calling or texting them.

Call each other by loving or pet names.  This brings exclusiveness to the relationship.

Try to have fun again.  Too many times, relationships become too serious.  “Communication” becomes paramount.  But, dating is supposed to be fun.  Try putting the serious issues aside from time to time and focus on enjoying each other’s company.

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When it comes to relationships, break up is hard because you have invested so much in the other person.  Because of this, making up is sometimes the better answer.

Where To Get Breakup Advice

When you’re ending a relationship, it can help to get breakup advice from people who’ve been where you are. You might talk to a relative, friends, people you trust, or you might look for breakup advice online.

There are probably thousands of websites out there telling you how to break up with someone, how to handle the separation and how to move forward. But some of the advice you’ll find can actually make the bad things you’re feeling even worse.

First, you’ll find sites that are designed to convince you that you don’t really want to break up with your ex. There are number of books available on the subject. Look at your local library or bookstore and you’ll see probably a dozen books or more telling you how you can save the relationship.

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That’s all great, if you really do want to save a relationship. There might be advice in those books and on those websites that can help you heal as a couple. The thing to watch for is breakup advice that makes you change your mind from wanting to move on to wanting to make it work, all designed to sell you an ebook or a regular book on just how to do it.

Remember that no matter how tempting the pitch is, you went looking for advice on how to move on. Not on how to go back into a situation you’ve just gotten away from. Avoid reading sites and books like that unless you’re really unsure you’ve made the right decision.

Then there are sites that will encourage you to move on too quickly. Often, these are designed to get you to sign up for a dating service! Think carefully. Do you really need breakup advice telling you to forget the time you’ve had with your ex by quickly getting back into the dating scene?

The point is that much of the advice out there is designed to sell you something that you probably don’t need. It’s a good idea to look for advice online. Just be sure that you can recognize the obvious pitches and sort the real advice from things just designed to sell you a product.

Most really good help online can be found at websites of relationship experts and people with education in human relations. They might have an ebook or book to sell, too. But they have experience counseling people and have credentials to show they know what they’re talking about.

Your closest friends can be a good source of advice, as long as they are supportive of you and don’t have any kind of attitudes about your ex-relationship. When you’re ending a relationship, it’s hard enough to deal with without good friends telling you “I told you so” or about what a loser the person was anyway.

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Talk to friends who respect what you’re going through and don’t just start putting down your ex. The best breakup advice will come from people who only want to see you happy again.