Don't Just SAY You're Sorry – Prove It

The words, "I'm sorry" can get us out of trouble when we've done something wrong or hurt someone we care about but the key to a good apology is really meaning it and convincing the other person that you are truly remorseful.  Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize.  In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see through you and realize that your apology is insincere.  A sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the relationship that was harmed by your words or actions. 

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated.  Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere.  On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action.  Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.  

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Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that you are sorry.  Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset.  Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your apology.  This is not an effective way to make an apology.  However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to repeat that action. 

Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to offer the apology in person.  Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring.  This kind of apology shows that you aren't truly sorry for your actions.  Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry.  It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to the disagreement. 

In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person you are apologizing to.  Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong.  While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out their faults.  Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong.  Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology is sincere. 

A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them in the future.  Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were wrong.  It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in the future. 

The timing of your apology can also help to prove that you really are sorry.  Waiting too long to apologize may show that you don't really care and that you are simply apologizing as an afterthought.  An apology that is made too early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the apology is still too upset to listen to what you are saying. 

It's important to give the other person a chance to vent their anger and calm down before rushing to apologize.  After a reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know that you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before apologizing. 

Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words or actions.  It is often necessary to not only apologize but to also prove that your apology is sincere.  A truly sincere apology proves that you are sorry by addressing the issue and acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating the other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will avoid similar actions in the future.

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Reasons For A Boyfriend Break Up

Have you had a boyfriend break up?  Maybe you were the one calling it quits.  Or, perhaps he dumped you.  Maybe it was a so called “mutual decision.”  In any case, sometimes a boyfriend break up is devastating.

There are many reasons for a boyfriend break up.  I’m going to look at three in this article.

The first reason is that he cheated on you.  You need to be very clear in your mind what cheating means.  Does that mean that he actually went out on a date with another girl?  Does it mean that he was making out with her at a party?  Does it mean that he danced with another girl?  Does it mean that he simply looked at one?  Defining what you mean by cheating can be very important.

If you have never had a talk about what “exclusiveness” in your relationship means, he may have had no idea that you would consider what he did cheating.  He may even be stunned that you would consider a boyfriend break up over that!  

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If you want to take him back, then you need to have a talk about expectations.  If he can agree to the expressed rules, you can get back together.  If they’re not something he can live with, then you are better off without him in the long run.

Another reason for a boyfriend break up is that you move in different places.  Sometimes this happens in a physical sense.  For instance, your family moves to another state or you and he go to colleges in different locations.  Most relationships cannot survive a great distance in geography and the break up may be mutual, but still painful.

Other times this happens because you start to move in different social spheres in the same place.  You may join the cheerleading squad and he’s not comfortable with your new friends, for instance.  Or, he gets serious about a religious preference that you have no interest in.  When this happens, it is just time to move on.

Finally, a boyfriend break up can occur when you need a different kind of lifestyle.  You may just be tired of having to cater to a boy’s needs ahead of your own, for instance.  Or, you may be bored with him.  He may have seemed glamorous and exciting at first, but now he’s just a pain.  You may have thought you needed a boyfriend because all of your other friends were pairing up, but now you realize that you need your own space and are not ready for a relationship.

In this case, the guy may agree with you or he may try to win you back.  But, make sure you put your own needs first.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other guys out there who are eager to have a girl like you, so there’s no need to have a relationship that isn’t working for you.  Although it may hurt at first, you will survive a boyfriend break up.

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The Hardest Thing To Do Breaking Up Advice

There is no easy way to bring a relationship to an end, whether you have just been dating or in a marriage. If you follow this break up advice it will help make breaking up the relationship less painful. Keep in mind this is only for non-violent situations. If there is violence involved, get help to end the relationship and keep yourself safe.

Be Sure:

This may be the hardest thing that either of you have had to face. If what problems you have together can be solved together, then they should be. If you are sure that the differences are irreconcilable and you have thought through the problems extensively then you should break up. If there is any hope the relationship then get some relationship advice from a counselor.

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Be Quick:

If you have made up your mind then you need to make your move. Once you decide, you must act. Staying in the situation for much longer will only increase the tension and make the situation worse.

Be Prepared:

Make sure that you have your thoughts completely gathered and they are rational and well constructed. Choose a time of the day when it is best for the both of you. Do it in a private place where there is quiet and a chance for you to discuss anything that needs to be.

Be There:

Do not take the easy way out and breakup in a text message or with a note on the table. The person you are breaking up with deserves to have you face them and tell them what is happening. Give them some time to discuss and answer questions.

Be Clean:

Clean up any issues that may be unresolved. If there are loose ends, tie them up. There will be things that need to be resolved in order for both of you to be able to move on. The best breaking up advice you will ever receive is to make a clean break.

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Be Gone:

Move on. Make a clean break and get on with your life. Don't leave any questions unanswered but get them answered soon. Accept that there were mistakes made and move on. Do your best to let go of any grudges. Let this be a clean slate.

Be Nice:

It is easy for things to get really ugly after a break up. Do yourself a favor and be as nice as possible to lessen the hostility. They may not deserve it in some cases but you will be able to move on a lot better if you stay nice through the whole situation. Anyone giving breaking up relationship advice will encourage you to keep your head.

In any case, breaking up is a divorce of one from another. It is important to get as much breaking up advice as you can. It might be necessary in some situations to get some counseling for breaking up advice. Just do it in the best way possible. It will make your move to your new life much easier.

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The Top Five Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship

If you haven’t had much chance to see how healthy, loving relationships work on a daily basis, taking some time to really study the characteristics of healthy relationships can give you a much better chance of having one yourself. There are lots of different styles of relationships that can work just fine, but all those successful relationship styles tend to have a few things in common.

Respect

Respect is the one of the main characteristics of a healthy relationship, whether it’s friendship, dating, or marriage. A partner who respects you is willing to listen to you in a non-judgmental way and considers your interests when making any mutual decisions. Any partner who disrespects you by making belittling comments about you, criticizing you in front of others, or disregarding your feelings is one you don’t need.

Support

After respect, support comes in next as a critical characteristic of a healthy relationship. You and your partner should be encouraging each other to go after important goals and dreams and giving each other enough freedom to do so. When times get hard, you back each other up instead up tearing each other down.

That doesn’t mean you can expect support for everything you do, though. If your partner is nagging you to quit smoking, eat better, or not stay at the office until 11 o’clock every night, they’re probably doing it out of concern for your well being.

Trust

In a strong, healthy relationship, neither of you should become suspicious or jealous without clear cause. If you have a niggling feeling that you can’t trust your significant other, your relationship will go downhill fast.

That sense of trust doesn’t develop overnight, though. It comes from each partner keeping their promises and sticking to the implicit rules of the relationship (no sleeping around, no lying about major issues, etc.) consistently over a period of time.

No manipulative behavior

Negotiating is one thing, using threats, guilt, and lies to manipulate a partner into doing something is another. No one should have to put up with being bullied this way. If your partner threatens to leave you, withhold physical affection, or in some other way “punish” you during every little disagreement, you may want to reconsider the relationship.

Economic equality

This is one of the less obvious ones, but it’s just as important as the others. Some people, maybe due to an underlying fear of not being able to support themselves, tend to get into relationships where they’re financially dependent on their partner.

At first, the idea of having someone support you might sound nice, but what happens if things turn sour? If you don’t have the financial wherewithal to leave the relationship when you want, you could find yourself at the mercy of someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Never let your partner use money to control you.

There are dozens of characteristics of a healthy relationship, but these are some of the most important ones. Remember, though, it’s a two way street. You may be doing everything “right,” but if your partner is disrespectful, unsupportive, or manipulative, you can’t call it a healthy relationship.

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Special Ways To Say Sorry To Your Boyfriend

You need to say sorry to your boyfriend for something you did, but you’re not sure of the best way to do it.  Saying sorry is actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it.  Of course, a lot depends on what you’re apologizing for.  If it’s a small thing that hurt his feelings, disappointed him or upset him, you can say sorry to your boyfriend a simply as, “I’m sorry.”

If you feel that a simple apology isn’t enough, however, there are other ways you can show your regret. Something that any boyfriend should appreciate is a heartfelt apology that lets him know you understand why he was upset and that you understand the part you played in causing it.  When you say sorry to your boyfriend, just express yourself honestly.

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If you’re nervous about doing so, you can make notes ahead of time and even rehearse a little bit. Just tell him that you’re sorry for whatever it was that you did, and that you know it made him feel angry (or upset or disappointed, whatever feeling applies). Explain that it wasn’t intentional, and you should have thought things through better before you did whatever it was that caused his pain.

You can say it a few times to yourself if you’re worried, and then it’ll be easier to say it when you’re looking him in the eye.  If you really have problems saying all that out loud—and that’s possible in some situations—then you can say sorry to your boyfriend by writing it down.

A simple letter explaining how you feel and how sorry you are is something he should appreciate.  Knowing that you took the time to get your feelings and your apology down on paper should go a long way toward easing the hurt.

It’s actually easier to go on longer and express more when you’re writing an apology as opposed to saying it, too.  If you don’t want to write a long letter you don’t have to.  It can be just a few lines if you’d rather just write what you would have said.

In a case like, consider using a card to write your apology in. You can buy greeting cards for any occasion today if you find a large card and stationary store. Cards that say I’m sorry are a pretty popular category.  Find the right one for your boyfriend, whether it’s sincere or funny, and write an apology note on the inside.

Whether or not a gift is an appropriate thing to use to apologize to your boyfriend depends on the situation. If it’s a pretty minor thing, a gift might not be necessary.  But surprising your boyfriend with something special can certain make it easier for both of you to get over the situation.

In some situations, though, it might seem as if you’re trying to buy forgiveness with a gift, and you don’t want that. Say sorry to your boyfriend with words, a note or a card, and save the gift buying for later. 

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