Don't Judge a Woman by Her Looks!

I know this tip may sound very cliche, but it's true. At some point or another we're all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it's not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don't necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

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Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider bo-tox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

Let me give you a live example of having looks at the top of your list of qualities, a woman must have. My son's first wife was a beautiful young woman on the outside, but lacked certain traits on the inside that my son was looking for. Within a few short months the lack of these traits began to have an impact on their marriage. And the longer the marriage went on the harder the marriage came for both of them. Unfortunately within less than two years they divorced. Thank goodness there were no children involved.

Two years later my son married a woman who had a more normal physical appearance. However, she had an overabundance of "beautiful traits" on the inside. It quickly became apparent in their marriage that they were very compatible and were happy together.

I'm not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It's a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what's inside before you discount women based on what's outside.

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How to Give Compliments and Sound Sincere

The key to giving compliments is sounding sincere so that the recipient of the compliment is truly flattered and appreciative of the compliment.  An insincere compliment does not convey the same message.  

If you are giving the compliment for your own personal gain,  your lack of sincerity will result in the person receiving the compliment not really feeling touched by your words.  Sincere compliments are simple, timely and they are not premeditated.  A sincere compliment is also often given in the presence of others.  

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When complimenting someone it’s important to keep your compliment simple and specific.  A compliment that is too over the top sounds forced and does not seem sincere.  Instead of gushing about the recipient of the compliment offer a simple compliment on a specific achievement.  The simplicity of the compliment will sound more genuine than if you had gone into great detail in your compliment.  Also offering a compliment on a specific achievement instead of making a generalization shows that your compliment is sincere because you realize the importance of the achievement.  Offering a sincere compliment doesn’t have to be difficult, just keep your words simple and focus on the reason you are giving the compliment. 

Offering your compliment in a timely manner is also important to sounding sincere.  A compliment is most likely to be perceived as being genuine if it is offered relatively soon after the achievement is attained.  For example it would be appropriate to offer a college a compliment on a job well done on a project within a day or two of completion of the project because you see them on a daily basis while not offering the compliment almost immediately may result in it being perceived as insincere.  However if you hear that a former co-worker has just received a promotion it is appropriate to wait until the next time you see them to offer your compliment or you may send them an email within a week or two of hearing the news.  In the first example your daily contact with the other person warrants a compliment be given quickly while in the second example your distance allows you to wait a little longer before offering a compliment without the compliment seeming forced or out of place. 

Sincere compliments are spoken from the heart and are not premeditated.  A true compliment is spoken freely and without much thought while rehearsing and planning a compliment appears obligatory and insincere.  While thinking before you speak is generally a good idea, putting too much thought into a compliment can have the effect of not seeming genuine.  When offering a compliment let your emotions speak instead of calculating your words and your compliment will seem sincere.

Additionally a sincere compliment is also either given in writing or offered in front of others.  Doing this places additional validity on the compliment.  A compliment offered in writing or in the presence of witnesses conveys sincerity by virtue of the fact that the person offering the compliment is willing to allow proof of the compliment.  Compliments given verbally with no witnesses may in fact be sincere but offering the compliments in front of others is more effective if you want to appear sincere. 

Finally the most important and also most obvious way to give a compliment and sound sincere is to truly believe in the compliment you are giving.  If you are genuinely impressed with a person or their actions and offer an honest compliment, your sincerity will shine through and the other person will be duly impressed and flattered by your compliment.  It may sound overly simple but resist the temptation to give a compliment that you don’t really mean.  Compliments are also given for reasons other than sincerity such as personal gain and these compliments are rarely seen as sincere.  However, when a compliment is given simply because there is a feeling of admiration for the person receiving the compliment, the sincerity is obvious. 

The art of giving a sincere compliment involves a number of factors.  Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that a sincere compliment stems from a genuine feeling of admiration.  Also offering a compliment without thoughts of personal gain is also imperative to giving a sincere compliment.  While these two factors ensure that your compliment is sincere the next few factors ensure that your compliment is received as being sincere.  Speaking from your heart and not rehearsing a compliment and offering your compliment in a timely manner and preferably in front of others create the appearance of a sincere compliment.

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How to Flirt Effectively

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

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Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

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