Showing posts with label how to stop my divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to stop my divorce. Show all posts

Saturday, April 6, 2013

3 Top Reasons Men Dump Women

It is such a sad moment when a relationship ends and when a woman is dumped she will feel sad, angry and rejected.  It is a very discouraging time in a woman's life to be dumped by the person she so deeply loves.  Being dumped will leave behind a feeling of pain and confusion, especially if it was unexpected.



At one time it seemed that it was always the woman that dumped the man, but I think the tables have turned and now men are doing their fair share of the dumping.  The problem with when a man dumps a woman is that he is not as sympathetic and not so good at explaining why the relationship is over.  Often a woman is left shocked and wondering what went wrong and really has no idea of the motive to his decision.

So why do men dump women?  Here are the top three reasons why they, men, end relationships.

1. Communication – or lack of it!


The key to any successful relationship is good communication and if a couple are struggling to communicate then there are serious problems with the relationship.  Lack of communication is one of the top reasons why men break up with women.

2. Over-demanding women!


At the beginning of a relationship women take men for who they are and all is good.  But as time goes on, some women will start to become quite demanding of their man.  Women sometimes like to have control in a relationship and may enforce too many rules and limits on their partner.  As the relationship becomes more serious they will expect the man to start spending more time at home and less time out with friends.  If a man isn’t ready to change his life to suit the ‘couple’ lifestyle then this can be too much pressure for him.  Putting too much pressure and too many demands on a man is a big reason for many break ups.

3. Needy women!


Men like to play the role of the big hero and so it can give their ego a nice boost when a woman plays the ‘damsel in distress’ role.  However, this is alright once in a while but a man will get quite annoyed with a woman if she is constantly needy and reliant on him.  Although it is good to rely on a man to some degree, a woman still needs some degree of independence.  A man will lose respect for a woman who is too clingy and can’t do anything for herself.  It can even become a bit creepy if a woman develops an obsession for the man and won’t let him out of her site.  When she expects him to spend every free minute with her, he will feel smothered and need to escape.  When the relationship gets to this point, the man will escape by breaking up with the woman.

There are many reasons why men dump women, but these are three very common ones.  Don’t think that you’re relationship is fine because it’s women that do the dumping, it’s not the case anymore.  Men also hold the power of a relationship in their hands.  If you find yourself in the situation of being dumped by a man, you can try communicating with him to see if there is any chance of salvaging the relationship.  If he has no interest at all in reconciling then you need to accept that the relationship is over and perhaps learn from the mistakes you may have made.

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Monday, February 25, 2013

Strategies For Convincing A Spouse To Save A Marriage

When you’re partner seems minutes away from packing their bags—or you're living separately already—convincing a spouse to save a marriage can seem next to impossible. If you take a step back from
the situation, though, you can see that there are realistic options for changing the mind of a spouse who's about to walk out. Here are some strategies that may just get your partner to come around.

Fake it 'til you make it'


It's a common strategy for business and other areas of social like, but acting 'as if' can work for marriages, too. It works so well because how we act has a major influence both on how we feel and on how others see us.

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For a while, try forgetting that you have anything but a perfectly blissful marriage and treat your spouse accordingly. Now, that's not going to be so easy if your partner's still bitter and liable to pick a fight. Still, you can take advantage of those times when things are
going well to try to see your spouse as the person you were deeply in love with when you decided to get married.

Be reasonable


Whether you want your spouse to join you in marriage counseling or just try out a few tips you picked up from a book, you'll have more success in winning them over if you don't push. Threats, guilt trips, and begging are more likely to push your partner away than give you any success convincing him to save a marriage. Instead, use a calm logical approach that taps into the underlying regard you spouse most likely still has for you or at least for the children.

Statements like 'With everything we've invested in each other, don't you think it's worth a try to save it?' or 'Wouldn't you rather be able to tell the kids we tried everything?' can help.

Address the problems


When convincing a spouse to save a marriage, promises to change ring pretty hollow unless you can back them up. If you expect your husband to believe you're not going to repeat certain mistakes in
the future, give them a real reason. This is especially important if you've had an affair or you're struggling with an addiction.

For instance, if you've started counseling to resolve an addiction that you've never dealt with before, your partner has a reason to believe things will get better.

Take care of yourself


The stress and low mood, marital problems naturally bring about, can leave you feeling like you just don't want to do anything. For your own sake, though, don't give in to that feeling or you'll only make yourself feel worse and drive your spouse farther away.

Make sure you're eating right, getting enough sleep, and not cutting corners on personal grooming. Stay on top of your responsibilities like finances and home maintenance. 

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Convincing a spouse to save a marriage isn't always easy, but it can be done. The most important thing you need to do is stay calm, stay upbeat, and actively look for solutions to the problems between you.

If you need more advice on convincing your spouse to save a marriage, most marriage counselors and professionally written self-help ebooks online can give you some
tips.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Stop My Divorce Change Yourself First

Are you saying “stop my divorce?”  Is your spouse taking you to divorce court and you want to put the brakes on the legal proceedings?  Do you really want your relationship to work?  If so, here’s how to stop my divorce.

First of all, you have to realize that no matter what your spouse’s reasons for the divorce are, there was something he or she was not getting from the relationship.  In other words, if you want to stop my divorce, you are going to have to make some concrete changes to your life.

It can be helpful to go to a therapist to find out what those reasons were.  But, don’t let the therapist convince you that the divorce is all your ex’s fault.  Instead, work on the issues that you have in your life that would have caused your ex to want to leave you.

One way to do this is to really listen to what your ex is saying.  Does he say that you are too involved with the children and don’t pay enough attention to you?  Does she say you are too involved with work and don’t pay enough attention to you?


More Advice On How To Stop Your Divorce


Sometimes financial strain is at the heart of  a marital break up.  Especially in this unsound economy, money woes can cause divorces.  If you want to stop my divorce, you need to address the financial concerns and make a plan for the future.  Remember, it will cost more for you to live apart than it would for you to live together on a restricted budget.

Other times, one party has fallen in love with someone else.  They want to leave you to take up a relationship with a new person.  Is there any way to stop my divorce when adultery has happened?

Of course, this break in marital trust is hard to deal with, but these hurts can be healed.  If you are the victim of a cheating spouse, you need to look hard at what went wrong.  Remember, they wouldn’t have looked elsewhere if they were getting their emotional and sexual needs met at home.  If you want to win them back, you have got to work on changing your own patterns.

In most of history, divorce was not an option in civilized society.  When you took your marriage vows, it really was “til death do us part.”  But, now divorce is easy.  In 49 states, all you have to do is state that you have irreconcilable differences and the Judge will grant the divorce.

In an era of easy divorce, what can you do to save my marriage?  You can begin by looking at what the strains on the marriage were and trying to see if you can improve yourself.  You can’t change your spouse.  If you badger him or her into counseling but they aren’t committed to change, it won’t take.  But, if you change yourself, you may find that your spouse is changing too.

If you really want to save my marriage, begin by changing the only person you can – and that’s you.