3 Broken Heart Remedies

A broken heart is one of the most painful feelings a person will experience, the sadness that accompanies a break up is incredibly intense.  The more love that you felt for your ex partner, the more your heart will suffer.  Is there a broken heart remedy?  Unfortunately there is no instant cure or remedy for a broken heart but that doesn’t mean that you are destined to feel that agonizing hurt for the rest of your life.  Although you will feel alone, sad and depressed for a while, there are some steps that you can take to help overcome your sadness.

Recovery from a broken heart will take time but these steps will help you to deal with the hurt that you are feeling and speed up the recovery process.  While they are not an instant remedy for your poor, crushed heart, they will help you get through this difficult period.

1. Take Control of Your Emotions

It is easy to lose control of your emotions when you are in such a desperately sad state following a relationship break up.  You will feel such a big range of emotions including intense sadness, incredible anger and rejection.  You will sometimes be angry at yourself and sometimes feel anger toward your ex.  If you can’t take control of your emotions then you will find it difficult to move on.

A roller coaster of emotions is perfectly normal after a break up and there is nothing wrong with experiencing such a big range of different emotions, just as long as those emotions don't take over your life.  If you are feeling sad then let the emotions out, have a good cry and then move on.  If you are feeling angry then let those emotions out too, go punch a punching bag or go down the beach and scream your lungs out and then move on.  If you let your emotions continue to bring you down and can't get past them then you might find yourself falling into a deep depression and that will be very difficult to climb back out of.

2. Accept that The Relationship is Over

Everything in life happens for a reason and if you can look at your break up with this attitude then you are one step closer to mending your broken heart.  Even though you might feel that your ex partner is 'the one' for you, perhaps he isn't.  Perhaps this relationship was never destined to work.  If this person isn't 'the one' then as long as you are with him you are prohibited from finding Mr Right.  Maybe this break up happened for a reason and happened so that you could change paths in your life journey and find the person that you really are meant to be with.  You will find happiness again and as soon as you accept that this relationship is over the sooner you can open yourself up to finding happiness.

3. Move On With Your Life

Sometimes you just need to let go and move on.  The ending of this relationship is not the end for the world; it is just the end of one chapter in your life journey.  When it is obvious that this relationship wasn’t meant to be, then you can let go and move on with your life. 

Although breaking up from a relationship is incredibly sad just try to remember that you have your whole life ahead of you and many more fantastic experiences to have.  There is no magic cure to heal a broken heart but if you consider these three steps and try to follow them you can start to recovery from the heartache and move on with your life.  Learn from the experiences you shared with this person and become a stronger person from them.  It's time to move on and enjoy the rest of your life.

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3 Top Reasons Men Dump Women

It is such a sad moment when a relationship ends and when a woman is dumped she will feel sad, angry and rejected.  It is a very discouraging time in a woman's life to be dumped by the person she so deeply loves.  Being dumped will leave behind a feeling of pain and confusion, especially if it was unexpected.

At one time it seemed that it was always the woman that dumped the man, but I think the tables have turned and now men are doing their fair share of the dumping.  The problem with when a man dumps a woman is that he is not as sympathetic and not so good at explaining why the relationship is over.  Often a woman is left shocked and wondering what went wrong and really has no idea of the motive to his decision.

So why do men dump women?  Here are the top three reasons why they, men, end relationships.

1. Communication – or lack of it!

The key to any successful relationship is good communication and if a couple are struggling to communicate then there are serious problems with the relationship.  Lack of communication is one of the top reasons why men break up with women.

2. Over-demanding women!

At the beginning of a relationship women take men for who they are and all is good.  But as time goes on, some women will start to become quite demanding of their man.  Women sometimes like to have control in a relationship and may enforce too many rules and limits on their partner.  As the relationship becomes more serious they will expect the man to start spending more time at home and less time out with friends.  If a man isn’t ready to change his life to suit the ‘couple’ lifestyle then this can be too much pressure for him.  Putting too much pressure and too many demands on a man is a big reason for many break ups.

3. Needy women!

Men like to play the role of the big hero and so it can give their ego a nice boost when a woman plays the ‘damsel in distress’ role.  However, this is alright once in a while but a man will get quite annoyed with a woman if she is constantly needy and reliant on him.  Although it is good to rely on a man to some degree, a woman still needs some degree of independence.  A man will lose respect for a woman who is too clingy and can’t do anything for herself.  It can even become a bit creepy if a woman develops an obsession for the man and won’t let him out of her site.  When she expects him to spend every free minute with her, he will feel smothered and need to escape.  When the relationship gets to this point, the man will escape by breaking up with the woman.

There are many reasons why men dump women, but these are three very common ones.  Don’t think that you’re relationship is fine because it’s women that do the dumping, it’s not the case anymore.  Men also hold the power of a relationship in their hands.  If you find yourself in the situation of being dumped by a man, you can try communicating with him to see if there is any chance of salvaging the relationship.  If he has no interest at all in reconciling then you need to accept that the relationship is over and perhaps learn from the mistakes you may have made.

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3 Tips for getting your Ex Back Fast and 2 Things To Avoid

Break ups can be very difficult to deal with and many are quite stressful and traumatic.  Although the relationship has been struggling perhaps you weren’t really ready for breaking up and are now asking yourself the question ‘how do I get my ex back?’  Even if your breakup is a very traumatic one there is usually still some hope of reconciliation.  If you know the right steps to take and how to act toward your ex then you just might be able to repair your relationship.  Here are some tips and tricks that can help you win your ex back and also some things that you might want to avoid.

Tips

Tip #1 – be yourself.  Acting like someone else just to try and win your ex back will not help matters in the long term.  Even if acting differently helps them to like you in the short term, it is hard to keep up the facade long term and sooner or later you will fall back into acting like yourself, so if you really want to be successful at getting your ex back then start acting like yourself.

Tip #2 – never use the method of trying to make him jealous to get him back.  Flirting with his friends in front of him will only hurt his feelings and could actually make the situation worse.  Some people use flirting to make their ex jealous while others use it to get revenge, either way it could backfire and you could lose him forever.

Tip #3 – be honest with your ex and don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel.  Don’t go overboard and act like life is not worth living without him, you don’t want to appear desperate.  Talk to him and let him know that you still love him and that you still want this relationship to work.  You never know, there is a chance that he might be feeling the same way and also want to give it another go.

Things to Avoid

Things to Avoid #1 – if you both agree to give the relationship another go then you want to make things clear right from the start that you are serious about the relationship.  Avoid getting into a habit of ‘on and off dating’ as this can be heart breaking and is no good for anyone.  Have a really good think about how you feel and if making this relationship work is really what you want and talk to him so you can find out if he really wants it to work too.

Things to Avoid #2 – don’t forget about the issues that led to your relationship breaking up in the first place.    If you want to save this relationship and turn it around into a happy relationship then you need to work on any issues that you had.  If you ignore the reasons for your breakup then you can’t move past them, it is important that you face any problems you had to move on and have a healthy relationship.

It is possible to win your ex back but you need to be sensible in your approach.  Use these tips and things to avoid and build a stronger, healthier relationship that will be made to last.

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4 Stages of Emotions Following a Break Up

Love is such an amazing emotion that makes life meaningful and happy.  When you are in a loving relationship you are on top of the world and going through the happiest time of your life.  But what if that relationship turns sour?  Unfortunately, even the best of relationships will have some issues and if they aren't resolved they can lead to the end of the relationship.  A person can go from being on top of the world to being on the bottom of the earth when their relationship reaches break up point.

When your relationship breaks up your heart is broken and the pain you feel is incredibly sharp and real.  Everyone reacts differently to relationship break ups and some will cope better than others.  Here are the general stages that one will experience when going through a relationship break up.

Stage One:  When your relationship comes to an end you will feel shock.  If you knew there was trouble and a break up was heading your way then the shock might not be as great, but there will still be some degree of shock.  If you were still happy in the relationship but your partner ended it out of the blue, then the shock you will feel will be very strong.

Stage Two:  The second stage of a break up is when you refuse to believe that the relationship is over.  Perhaps you have been in denial that there have been any problems occurring within your relationship and don't want to accept that the relationship is now over.  You might try to convince yourself that it is just a temporary setback that you will be able to resolve.  Unfortunately, if your partner has broken off the relationship then it might be too late to resolve any problems that have been building up over time.

Stage Three:  Next you might begin to experience some depression.  Feeling depressed is a completely normal reaction following a relationship break up.  No-one enjoys ending a relationship and even if you are the partner that chose to end the relationship you will still experience sadness at the end of this major stage of your life.  It is best to try and move on and keep yourself busy so you don't spend all your time thinking about it.

Stage Four:  The last stage of emotions following a break up is acceptance.  Although it can take time to reach this stage, once you accept that the relationship is over then you can move on with your life.  Be happy that you were able to experience a loving relationship for a short time and put the relationship and the break up down to experience.  This whole experience will make you stronger and help you grow into the person you are today.  Once you have accepted that the relationship is over then you can move on and be open to meeting someone new.

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Do You Know If Your Relationship Is On the Rocks?

No-one wants a relationship to end and if it does it can sometimes come as a big shock, leaving you feeling confused and not sure why it happened.  A break up can leave you feeling betrayed, rejected and can really put a dent in your self-confidence.

After a break up you will often find yourself wondering why it happened and what you could have done to save the relationship.  You will begin to ask yourself what you did wrong and what you could have done differently.  All those ‘what if’ questions will start running through your mind.

Some relationships, even after a break up, can manage to repair the damage and get back on track.  But it really is much easier to save a relationship if you can prevent it from reaching break up stage.  As soon as you see any signs of trouble in a relationship you need to act fast to resolve it.

You can only take steps to resolve any issues if you are aware that there are issues.  If you can recognize the warning signs of a relationship in trouble then you have a good chance of repairing it and preventing a break up from happening.  It really is essential to know what signs to look for so you can save your relationship before it’s too late.

Let’s take a look at some of the common warning signs of a break up.

Is your partner avoiding you?  If your relationship has reached the stage when your partner seems to be spending more time with his mates than he does with you then this can be a warning sign that trouble is pending.  Is your partner avoiding your phone calls?  Is your partner avoiding spending any romantic time with you?  Has he increased his night out with the boys from once a week to three or four times a week?  A yes answer to these questions is a strong warning sign that your relationship is in strife.

Has communication between you and your partner become uncomfortable or non-existent?  A happy relationship needs to have good communication so if it seems that you are having trouble communicating with your partner then there might be something to worry about.  Lack of communication goes hand in hand with the avoidance issue – if you’re partner is heading off to bed early rather than sit and watch a movie with you, then he is avoiding you and avoiding communication.

Do you seem to be arguing more than normal?    All relationships have some problems and there will be arguments from time to time; that is completely normal.  No two people can agree 100% about absolutely everything; it is just human nature to disagree about some issues.  The problem comes when there seems to be more and more arguing and less and less normal conversation.  There is also the severity of the arguments and whether they have changed from general arguing to very hostile arguing.  Your relationship may be in trouble if you find that arguments have become a regular occurrence and your partner seems to be picking fights quite a lot.  Sometimes prior to a breakup a person may pick fights because it helps them to justify their intentions when they do finally make the break and end the relationship.

Avoidance, lack of communication and a lot of arguing are three big warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.  If you are aware of these signs and notice them soon enough then you can work toward resolving any problems and saving your relationship.

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Ending a Relationship is Never Easy

Ending a relationship can be really difficult and you don't want it to be any more upsetting than necessary.  If you are considering ending a relationship you might be contemplating the best way to do it, but is there really a right way?

Ideally it would be good to end a relationship on good terms and without too much drama and pain.  Unfortunately the ideal ending to a relationship doesn't happen very often, but instead relationships often end in a bad way leaving behind feelings of anger and sadness.  When the break up is drawn out and messy it can leave both parties furious at each other and very bitter.

If you know in your heart that your relationship is over and are just trying to find the right way to end it, then keep in mind that this person is one that you have loved and has shared a big part of your life.  Find the right time to talk to your partner openly and honestly and let them know exactly how you feel.  Let her know your true feelings but don't go blaming her for anything, as soon as you start the blame game that is when it can turn nasty.

If the breakup comes as a shock to your ex then she will have a thousand questions running through her mind, so the more that you can explain to her the better.  By explaining your feelings and your decision to your partner then it will also help you to know in your own mind that you are making the right decision.  If you have been in the relationship for a long time then you really do want to take the time to break it to her gently and not just walk out leaving her wondering what happened.

You never know if you sit down and talk about how you are feeling you might even come up with another solution rather than just ending the relationship completely.  Perhaps you can spend some time apart to think things through and evaluate your situation before making a final decision one way or the other.

Or course this advice above is based on a relationship that has been reasonably happy.  For example, things will be a bit different if you are ending a relationship because your partner is abusive.  If you make the decision to end a relationship that is abusive then it is usually best that you leave the relationship as soon as you can.  Some relationships can be so abusive that a person is too scared to leave for fear that their partner will find them, so you will need to plan your departure carefully and you may need to seek help.

Even if you are the person ending the relationship, you can still feel sadness and loneliness when it is over.  Just remember, that when one door closes another door opens and although the end of a relationship is a sad time, you are now beginning the rest of your life, so enjoy every minute of it.

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Advice on How to Effortlessly Save Your Relationship

Relationships always start off happy and full of excitement and there is no better feeling than that ‘new relationship’ feeling.  Your first fight is terrible because it recognizes a sign of maturity in a relationship and that new feeling is fading.  Then if you start to feel that your relationship is in trouble; that can just be absolutely devastating.

As soon as you start seeing some signs of trouble in your relationship you can start to panic and might even start acting and thinking irrationally – which really doesn’t help the situation one bit.  How you act now can make or break your relationship so if you really want to save this amazing relationship then the following tips might be useful to you.

What is the Problem in the Relationship?

The first step to saving a relationship is to identify the cause of the problems that you are having.  All relationships will have some problems but some problems are worse than others and these problems are the ones that can break a relationship if they aren’t resolved.  Even the small issues are worth working at getting resolved as even though they are small, they can build up over time and become the cause of a failed relationship.  So to save your relationship and your love for your partner, it is important to identify any problems and work through them together.

Talk to Your Partner about the Problem.

A relationship is a two person journey and you can’t solve all problems on your own.  So if there is a problem in your relationship you will need to sit down with your partner and discuss it, don’t just try to resolve the issue yourself.  By talking about any problems that you have then you can both work toward solving the problem and saving your relationship.

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Do You and Your Partner Still Love Each Other?

A relationship won’t work without love to hold it together and sometimes people just fall out of love.  Love is a very powerful tool and if you both still love each other then you should be able to use that tool to save your relationship.  If your love for each other has died off then it may be time to say goodbye, but if there is still a glimmer of love then your relationship has hope.

It is possible to save a relationship that has problems if you can keep the above tips in mind.  Love is a two way street and you both need to feel love toward each other and be committed to saving your relationship.  If your partner doesn’t want to be in the relationship at all then you can’t force him to stay, but if he does still love you then there will always be hope.  Stay calm, look at the problems rationally and work them out together.

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Why Am I Still In Love - My Ex May Not Love Me

Falling in love is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems to happen in an instant, other times it takes longer, and other times you don't even realize just how much in love you were until after you have both gone your separate ways. If the last one sounds familiar then you may be asking, "why am I still in love with my ex?" There isn't an easy answer to that question, but let's take a look at some things you should consider.

A good first step is to change the question you are asking yourself. Instead of asking why you are still in love with your ex, ask yourself if you are really in love with them or not. What may be happening is that you are missing the relationship itself, and not the person you were with. There is something comforting about being in a routine. Once that routine comes to an end it causes a lot of stress. That stress isn't what causes the feelings of affection, but stress makes it easy to incorrectly identify what your real feelings are. So, take the time to figure out what you're really feeling before making any assumptions.

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Assuming you have determined that you do, indeed, still love your ex then you should know that you are not alone. As mentioned earlier, falling in love is a funny thing. It is very rare that both people in a relationship fall in love with each other at the exact same time; one or the other will feel love first. The same is true of falling out of love. While your ex may have fallen out of love with you, you still have strong feelings for them.

At this point you have two options. You can either hope that your ex will fall back in love with you, or you can try to stop loving your ex. Only you know which one is the best solution for you and your situation. Be careful here! Your first reaction will be to answer quickly, but that's a mistake. Take the time to reflect on the answer. Consider your motivations behind the answer. Do your best to be honest with yourself and what's really going on.

If you finally decide it will be best to try to patch things up and have your ex fall in love with you again, then you need to be prepared to take the needed steps to make that happen. Remember, your ex will change their feelings at a different pace than you will. This means you need to give them the time they need to give the relationship another chance.

On the other hand, if you decide it's best to move on and let your feelings fade for your ex, then you need to start doing so as soon as you can. The quicker you can get over these feelings and move on, the better. That way, the next time you find that you're asking yourself, "why am I still in love with my ex?", you can answer by saying, "I'm not. I have moved on to a brighter and better future!"

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How To Get Over Someone You Love - Time Helps

Going through a breakup is never an enjoyable experience. It doesn't matter which side of the break up you're on, and it doesn't matter how amicable it seemed to be; it's still a relationship coming to an end. No matter how long you were together, you had time to build up real feelings for the other person, and now you want to know how to get over someone you still love. I'm going to be honest, it won't always be easy, but it is possible.

Before we start looking at the specific steps you can take to get over someone after a break up, let's take a look at why that's so important to do. It's important because you are going to have to move on. You will eventually meet somebody new (or maybe you have already). The new person in your life deserves your full affections and shouldn't have to compete with the feelings you have for someone else. Okay, now on to ways to get over your ex.

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The first thing to do is think about any of the times you were treated poorly. Did your ex ever put you down? Did they ever intentionally ignore your thoughts or feelings? Were they abusive? This step can be painful, but the goal is to show yourself that they maybe didn't love you as much as you thought they did. This makes it easier to stop feeling as though they should be loved back.

You also need to give things some time. The more time that passes after your break up, the less affection you should be feeling. Unfortunately, sometimes the opposite is true. It seems that the longer we are separated, the stronger our love for the other person becomes. Don't let that happen to you.

Another thing that will help to answer the question of how to get over someone you still love is to accept that it's over. Your ex has already moved on. What you had may have been special, but there will be somebody else who will be even more special. Living in a fantasy world where your ex and you will be happy again isn't going to help get your feelings back in check. Therefore, it's best to accept reality and move ahead with your life.

Refocusing is another method of getting over an ex. People’s emotions can run high after a break up. This can actually amplify your feelings of love. The problem is that they are focused on the wrong person. So, if you can change the target of your affection, it will help you to get over the other person.

How to get over someone you still love is not always the easiest thing to do, no question. Relationships are complicated, and getting over them takes time. However, by following the tips above, you will soon be over your ex and be able to start living your life. After all, no matter what has happened in the past, you still deserve to be happy.

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Avoiding Scams in search of love

The Internet can be a place where you find true love. But if you create a profile on a dating site, it is very important for you to keep your eyes open. You risk being tied to a subscription that you may find it hard to get out of again.

Read The Sites Terms of Use

It is important that you read the dating site's terms carefully before you create a subscription.

Examine among other things, how long you lock yourself into that particular dating service. You should be certain to Double Check for a cancellation clause. Some of the places you can find the cancellation clause may be varied and difficult to see.

It could be buried in the "Terms of Use" page, it could be hidden under the purchase button in a very light shade of grey or even in the confirmation e-Mail you receive. However you should find that the vast majority of legitimate on line dating sites will make this information very easy to find.

Warning:

If you can not find clear and adequate information on the time period, the price and the cancellation notice period, be careful not to join the site.

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Check others' experiences with the site

It's also a good idea to check online whether other users have good or bad experiences with the site.

Consumer advocates, various State and country agencies, including State and Country Attorney Generals, have received complaints from consumers who have reported that after creating a free profile, on a dating site, they must upgrade to a paid membership to read messages from other users. In many cases these messages are auto-generated and or tailored to match what the consumer was looking for when meeting another member.

However, by reading the auto-generated messages, on the site, while thinking it was free, the consumer was automatically upgraded to a paying membership or was told to upgrade to read the messages. And when they did they were locked into a long term membership.

Once this was done, they found it extremely difficult to get out of the subscription when trying to cancel and get their money back. There have also been examples of the profile suddenly appearing on multiple sites because the owner of the site for marketing purposes has several sites with different names.

Cancellation and Refunds

Depending on the dating site, you basically have from 14 to 30 days to cancel, when you subscribe on the web or your mobile phone. In other words you can cancel the service anytime during the time period. However, as stated above you may find your self being charged for a full month, if you read the site's messages to you. So be careful! read the entire "terms of use" and know what it is going on

Create a free profile on a dating site, you may find that you need to upgrade to a paid membership to read messages from other users, and it also means that you waive the opportunity to withdraw from the contract. Always read the terms carefully before you upgrade your membership.

Rights to images

Please also note that if you give the rights to the images/pictures you upload to your profile, you may run the risk of giving, that dating site, to use the images in their marketing.

Avoiding scams in search of love isn't difficult. You just need to make sure you read the terms of use and know what you are signing up for and the permissions you are giving to the dating site.

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3 Tips About A Boyfriend Break Up

Did you wake up this morning with a devastating heart ache? Perhaps you're experiencing a monumental "hangover" headache and you don't even drink. Did you dread looking in the mirror, because you know what you're going to look like? There is a very good chance you have if you have ever had a boyfriend break up.

Frankly there are many things in your relationship that could have brought forth the breakup. However, you and I are going to concentrate on just three of them today.

1. Cheating with another woman:

Are you even sure you know what cheating is or what it actually involves? When you set down and began to examine the event that brought about the ending of the relationship, there are several question to ask yourself.

Was he texting a female you didn't know about? If so was it someone at work and the text involved work. That could be a legitimate and perfectly innocent relationship and does not even qualify as cheating.

Does it mean he was having an ongoing sexual relationship with someone from his past? Yes! That definitely is out and out cheating on your relationship. Are you so jealous that when he even glances at another woman, you expect he is cheating on you?

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As you can see there are many definitions for cheating. Therefore you need to be perfectly clear in your mind what your definition is about cheating prior to breaking up with your boyfriend.

Now I'm going to throw a little curve at you from out of nowhere. Prior to starting your "steady" relationship, did you and he talk about what each of you expected in your romance?

You may be really surprised by his explanation when you do the boyfriend breakup thing, when he just looked at another woman or was texting someone at work. When this happens you may need to decide if your expectations were out of the so called norm. One thing about it though, is when you really think about it you may have to decide if you want to breakup with the boyfriend or continue with the overall realationship.

2.Long distance love affairs:

You can almost bet when your trying to maintain a long distance relationship it is painful, extremely difficult and almost always ends in a boyfriend breakup; unless both of you are fully committed to making it work. If your not committed get prepared because the breakup is likely going to be just around the corner.

It is very likely you have seen more than one person experience this phenomenon.It really seems to be prevalent in the college age young people. Many of them had relationships in high school that carried forward into the early college years. However, when the schools were hours or miles apart and studies, social events and loneliness cuts in the boyfriend break up can occur.  

3. Lifestyle changes:

What if your beau has become a real pain in the butt? It just might be the perfect time to change your life. Even though the boyfriend doesn't want to break up you may have to be the one, who takes the bull by the horns, and does the breaking up.

Oftentimes as you mature and put on a few more years your thinking, goals and social approaches may change and often do. You may just be finding yourself not even wanting a permanent partner. And frankly there is nothing wrong with spreading your social wings.

Take the time to dig into your heart, mind and soul to see if the boyfriend breakup maybe exactly what you need right now. Yes both you and your significant other may hurt when the breakup takes place, but both of you maybe made of some very strong stuff and find out it's the best thing that ever happened to you.

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Don't Judge a Woman by Her Looks!

I know this tip may sound very cliche, but it's true. At some point or another we're all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it's not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don't necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

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Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider bo-tox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

Let me give you a live example of having looks at the top of your list of qualities, a woman must have. My son's first wife was a beautiful young woman on the outside, but lacked certain traits on the inside that my son was looking for. Within a few short months the lack of these traits began to have an impact on their marriage. And the longer the marriage went on the harder the marriage came for both of them. Unfortunately within less than two years they divorced. Thank goodness there were no children involved.

Two years later my son married a woman who had a more normal physical appearance. However, she had an overabundance of "beautiful traits" on the inside. It quickly became apparent in their marriage that they were very compatible and were happy together.

I'm not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It's a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what's inside before you discount women based on what's outside.

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Don't Just SAY You're Sorry – Prove It

The words, "I'm sorry" can get us out of trouble when we've done something wrong or hurt someone we care about but the key to a good apology is really meaning it and convincing the other person that you are truly remorseful.  Apologizing just for the sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize.  In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see through you and realize that your apology is insincere.  A sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the relationship that was harmed by your words or actions. 

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated.  Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere.  On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action.  Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.  

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Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that you are sorry.  Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset.  Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your apology.  This is not an effective way to make an apology.  However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to repeat that action. 

Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to offer the apology in person.  Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring.  This kind of apology shows that you aren't truly sorry for your actions.  Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry.  It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to the disagreement. 

In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person you are apologizing to.  Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong.  While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out their faults.  Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong.  Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology is sincere. 

A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them in the future.  Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were wrong.  It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in the future. 

The timing of your apology can also help to prove that you really are sorry.  Waiting too long to apologize may show that you don't really care and that you are simply apologizing as an afterthought.  An apology that is made too early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the apology is still too upset to listen to what you are saying. 

It's important to give the other person a chance to vent their anger and calm down before rushing to apologize.  After a reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know that you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before apologizing. 

Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words or actions.  It is often necessary to not only apologize but to also prove that your apology is sincere.  A truly sincere apology proves that you are sorry by addressing the issue and acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating the other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will avoid similar actions in the future.

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5 Dating Etiquette Tips For A Comfortable Date

1. Be Yourself:

When you go on a date there are certain things and ways you should behave. Of course you want the person to get to know you so you shouldn't try and be someone that you are not. This is extremely important and should be your number one priority.

Simply ask yourself this question, "Do I really want to start this date off with a lie or being someone I'm not?" Always remember either situation can come back to bite you later. Especially if you find out this is someone you would really like to have a meaningful relationship with.

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2. Personal Appearance:

When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. Make an effort to dress appropriately for the type of date you're going on. This will show the other person you care about your appearance but you also care about what they think about you. If you don't care about what the
other person thinks then you probably shouldn't be going out on a date with them in the first place.

3. Prior To The Date:

Depending on the person you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for your date.

If the woman you are going out with is a feminist, then let her open the doors and do things for herself or it will bother her. She also will want to pay for her own meal.

If you are not going on a date with an independent woman who is a feminist then you should open the doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.

4. Can you afford the date:

As you well know in today's economy many prices have gone up,  in restaurants, places of entertainment and especially night clubs and bars. Don't take your date somewhere you cannot afford and never find yourself asking your date for money to cover the bill. This may well put you into the most embarrassing spot you have ever been. Think about this? What if your date only had a few dollars for an emergency?

And suddenly you find yourself and your date explaining to a police officer why you were trying to stiff the restaurant or place of entertainment. In some cities and towns you can be charged with a misdemeanor or even higher. To avoid this situation simply take a few minutes to call the places where you are planning on taking your date.

5. Asking Your Date Questions:

Dating etiquette also includes not making the other person feel as if they are on an interview. It is common for people on a date to ask many questions as they just want to get to know the other person.
However, don't make them feel as if they are on an interview or you might scare them off. Be sure to create a comfortable atmosphere.

In conclusion dating etiquette can make the difference if the date is a fun and exciting date or a complete dud. The majority of the time you won't  have to think about it, as you will just do it naturally.

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How to Give Compliments and Sound Sincere

The key to giving compliments is sounding sincere so that the recipient of the compliment is truly flattered and appreciative of the compliment.  An insincere compliment does not convey the same message.  

If you are giving the compliment for your own personal gain,  your lack of sincerity will result in the person receiving the compliment not really feeling touched by your words.  Sincere compliments are simple, timely and they are not premeditated.  A sincere compliment is also often given in the presence of others.  

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When complimenting someone it’s important to keep your compliment simple and specific.  A compliment that is too over the top sounds forced and does not seem sincere.  Instead of gushing about the recipient of the compliment offer a simple compliment on a specific achievement.  The simplicity of the compliment will sound more genuine than if you had gone into great detail in your compliment.  Also offering a compliment on a specific achievement instead of making a generalization shows that your compliment is sincere because you realize the importance of the achievement.  Offering a sincere compliment doesn’t have to be difficult, just keep your words simple and focus on the reason you are giving the compliment. 

Offering your compliment in a timely manner is also important to sounding sincere.  A compliment is most likely to be perceived as being genuine if it is offered relatively soon after the achievement is attained.  For example it would be appropriate to offer a college a compliment on a job well done on a project within a day or two of completion of the project because you see them on a daily basis while not offering the compliment almost immediately may result in it being perceived as insincere.  However if you hear that a former co-worker has just received a promotion it is appropriate to wait until the next time you see them to offer your compliment or you may send them an email within a week or two of hearing the news.  In the first example your daily contact with the other person warrants a compliment be given quickly while in the second example your distance allows you to wait a little longer before offering a compliment without the compliment seeming forced or out of place. 

Sincere compliments are spoken from the heart and are not premeditated.  A true compliment is spoken freely and without much thought while rehearsing and planning a compliment appears obligatory and insincere.  While thinking before you speak is generally a good idea, putting too much thought into a compliment can have the effect of not seeming genuine.  When offering a compliment let your emotions speak instead of calculating your words and your compliment will seem sincere.

Additionally a sincere compliment is also either given in writing or offered in front of others.  Doing this places additional validity on the compliment.  A compliment offered in writing or in the presence of witnesses conveys sincerity by virtue of the fact that the person offering the compliment is willing to allow proof of the compliment.  Compliments given verbally with no witnesses may in fact be sincere but offering the compliments in front of others is more effective if you want to appear sincere. 

Finally the most important and also most obvious way to give a compliment and sound sincere is to truly believe in the compliment you are giving.  If you are genuinely impressed with a person or their actions and offer an honest compliment, your sincerity will shine through and the other person will be duly impressed and flattered by your compliment.  It may sound overly simple but resist the temptation to give a compliment that you don’t really mean.  Compliments are also given for reasons other than sincerity such as personal gain and these compliments are rarely seen as sincere.  However, when a compliment is given simply because there is a feeling of admiration for the person receiving the compliment, the sincerity is obvious. 

The art of giving a sincere compliment involves a number of factors.  Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that a sincere compliment stems from a genuine feeling of admiration.  Also offering a compliment without thoughts of personal gain is also imperative to giving a sincere compliment.  While these two factors ensure that your compliment is sincere the next few factors ensure that your compliment is received as being sincere.  Speaking from your heart and not rehearsing a compliment and offering your compliment in a timely manner and preferably in front of others create the appearance of a sincere compliment.

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How to Fight Fairly

In any relationship worth having conflict is bound to arise.  The true test of the relationship is whether or not you feel that it is worthwhile to resolve these conflicts and if you are able to do so in a fair and objective way.  Key elements to fighting fairly include sticking to the issue at hand, being open to listening to the other person, not involving others in the fight, not bringing up old issues and finally being willing to accept responsibility and let it go when the fight is over. 

It’s important to know what you are fighting over and to stick to that issue in the argument.  If you allow things to build up over time and then explode with many grievances at once neither you nor the person you are fighting with will have a clear understanding of what the issue is or why you are fighting.  It is important to address each issue as they arise to alleviate resentment and fighting that does not have a clear focus.  Sticking to one specific issue in a fight is the fair way to fight and it’s also the most successful way to fight.  If both parties involved have a clear understanding of why they are fighting you are much more likely to reach a mutually amicable resolution. 

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Listening is a very important component of fighting fairly.  It is imperative to allow the other person to offer their side of the argument.  Fighting without listening will not be effective because it does not allow you to be open to the other person’s opinions and justifications.  The other person may have a very valid reason for their actions but if you are only interested in what you have to say and are unwilling to listen you will not hear their point of view.  Another aspect of listening is to really understand what the other person is saying.  It’s very easy to not hear the intent of a person’s message.  In a fight you want to actively clarify the other person’s statements and give them the opportunity to affirm or negate your interpretation of their argument.  Listening attentively and understanding the other person’s argument is a very effective and fair way to fight. 

Bringing others into a fight is not a fair way to fight.  It is important that the fight take place between those directly involved and that neither party elicits the help of friends or family members to validate their position.  It doesn’t matter how many other people agree with you, that does not necessarily make you right, so don’t involve others in your fight.  This is not only not fair to your partner but it is also not fair to those who are dragged into the argument.  While you may have many people who agree with you and believe you are right, bringing them into the fight just isn’t fair and also isn’t effective. 

In a fair fight it is also important to not bring up old issues.  A fair fight will remain focused and bringing up the past distracts from the current issues and also sends the message that the past has not been forgotten.  If you partner feels that you are bringing up old issues, he may begin to feel as if the current fight is not worth fighting because it will not be forgotten.  If you convey the message that you are not willing to forgive and forget you are not fighting fairly because your partner will feel as though the argument is no longer worthwhile.  Also, bringing up old issues is not fair because they are not relevant to the current fight.  A fair fight is clearly focused on a current conflict without dredging up old issues. 

Another key tactic for fighting fairly is to be willing to accept responsibilities for your own actions and be willing to reach a resolution and move on from the argument.  Those who fight fairly are prepared to concede the fact that they may lose the argument.  Losing the argument means either that you admit that you were solely to blame in the situation or that you are unable to convince the other person of your argument.  What is important in a fair fight is not who is right or who is wrong but that the couple is able to reach an amicable agreement and that they are both able to progress and leave the fight in the past. 

Fighting fairly is crucial in a healthy relationship.  Disagreements are natural and resolving them in a fair way is imperative to a thriving relationship.  Not fighting fairly is indicative of a relationship that is not healthy.  A fair fight however incorporates the key elements of focus, listening and resolution without involving third parties in the fight.  A fair fight is also left in the past after resolution.  Fair fighting leads to resolution in most cases.

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How to Demand Respect AND Get It

Respect, as it applies to people, is defined as a feeling of esteem for a person.  This feeling is generally a result of a person’s achievements.  While all people deserve respect, it is an unfortunate fact that many people do not receive the respect that they deserve. 

There are several ways however that you can put yourself in a situation where you will begin to receive the respect that you deserve.  In general the keys to demanding respect and getting it are treating others with respect, treating yourself with respect, conveying a sense of confidence, not being afraid to make decisions and dressing appropriately.  These key factors will help you to gain the respect you deserve.  

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If you expect others to treat you with respect, one of the first steps you must take is to begin treating others with respect if you aren’t already doing so.  If you have a disrespectful attitude towards others it will be difficult for them to feel respectful towards you.  Treating others with respect demonstrates that you are worthy of respect yourself because it shows that you are capable of holding others in esteem.  If you do not give others their due respect, many people will see you as a person who is not compassionate of others and not willing to understand the value of others.  Many bosses will try to demand respect by being authoritative with their subordinates.  While authority is a characteristic that commands respect, this is often taken too far and if the boss does not recognize the employees achievements the employee will most likely be resentful of the boss and not feel respectful towards him.  On the other hand a boss that maintains an authoritative air while also being supportive of his employees and willing to listen to their ideas will gain the respect of his employees. 

Treating yourself with respect is another key element to receiving respect from others.  Self respect is seeing yourself for your innate worth and acting accordingly by treating yourself with esteem.  It’s important to treat others with respect but by the same token you must also treat yourself with respect.  While self-deprecating humor may be your way of coping with your perceived inadequacies this type of behavior demonstrates to other that you do not feel you are truly worthy of their respect.  In order to gain the respect of others you must first treat yourself with respect. 

Confidence also inspires a sense of respect.  Being confident, without being arrogant, is a sign that you know your abilities and past performances are worthy of respect.  Knowing that you are a highly capable person and not being afraid to let others know this is another way to demand respect and get it.  Exercise caution with using confidence to command respect though.  Over confidence may have the reverse effect and result in you not receiving respect.  Knowing your abilities and being confident in yourself will go a long way in ensuring that you earn the respect of those around you. 

Decision making is another aspect that could be a determining factor in whether or not those around you respect you.  This goes along with confidence in that if you are sure of yourself you will not hesitate to make the right decisions in any situation.  An ability to make decisions without wavering or being unsure of yourself will inspire confidence in those around you.  While it’s important to seek advice and counsel from others, if you are in charge of a situation the decision is ultimately yours to make.  If you make valid decisions without showing signs of doubt you will be respected for your ability to take a stand and act on what you believe is right. 

Dressing the part is also very important in earning the respect of others.  While casual clothing may be acceptable in many work places you will find that those who are in a position of authority and command respect often dress less casually than those who are not well respected.  While your clothes are not an accurate indication of your abilities others around you may jump to conclusions based on your appearance.  While this is a sad fact of life, it’s important to acknowledge that this does exist in society and take care to always convey a professional appearance.  Doing so will help you to earn the respect of your friends and colleagues as well as your employer. 

Perhaps the most important factor to understand about respect is that, in most cases, it is not given automatically by others but that it must be earned.  You can earn the respect you deserve by treating yourself and others with respect, being confident and unafraid to make important decisions and dressing in a way that shows that you have respect for yourself.  All of these aspects will help to ensure that you are not only demanding respect but also getting it.

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How to Flirt Effectively

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

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Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

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5 Tips For Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Think you don't stand much chance of getting your ex girlfriend back without begging or apologizing for things you did not even do? If so, you've fallen into the same trap I did after my girlfriend walked out. Don't feel bad; most guys react the same way in this situation. Nine chances out of ten, you are doing the exact opposite of what you should be and it's only making your ex glad she left. 

Here's what you should be doing instead:

Stay calm!

You had a fight, you yelled at each other, she told you she never wants to see your face again and walked out. Once you start to really feel you've lost her, panic sets in. You end up calling her every day, sending one email after another, and basically turn into a stalker before you realize it.

No woman in her right mind is going to go back to a guy who is hunting her. Take a few days to collect your thoughts and then try a few times to contact her. If she does not respond, move on to the next step, which is:

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Talk to her friends! 

Not what you wanted to hear, I bet. Yeah, trying to impress her friends was hard enough when you were going out, but now that she has spent hours telling them what a jerk you are, how are you supposed to approach them?

Unfortunately, though, when it comes to getting your girlfriend back, these are exactly the people you need to be talking to because they have the most power to sway your ex. If you can explain your side of the story and at least get a little sympathy, the next time she mentions you, they are at least going to put in a good word for you.

Stay attractive!

Let's face it, a lot us, both men and women, have a tendency to let ourselves go when we are feeling depressed. Maybe you wear the same shirt for three days in a row or put off getting a hair cut for a little too long. This is exactly what you shouldn't be doing. I know its hard, but you, no matter how bad you feel, take care of yourself. Eat right, get enough sleep, and don't skimp on personal hygiene. Not only will you feel better, you're ex girlfriend will see you as someone worth being with.

Be open!

Once you get a chance to talk to her, you have to know what to say. Part of that means explaining what you were thinking when you had the fight that almost ended the relationship.

This is a hard one, I know. If I had my choice, no body would ever know I ever had a single problem in my life. In reality, though, you'll be better off admitting that you were stressed out from work, family problems, or whatever than trying to cover anything up.

Getting your ex girlfriend back doesn't have to be hard if you keep your self respect and tackle the problem head on. Stay calm and be honest about what caused the split and you'll be well on your way to reconciling with your lady.

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Whats Up With Relationship Coaches?

A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential.  

A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship.  Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple.  This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship. 

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The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couple's complaints about the relationship.  While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation.  It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. 

While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process.  Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach.  Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship.  Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area.  In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement. 

After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couple’s relationship through observation.  They may come into the couple's lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts.  This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couple's self assessment of their relationship is accurate.  The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couple’s perception.  While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couple’s relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period.  If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts. 

Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas.  The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed.  These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise.  These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship.  While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises won’t help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try. 

Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship.  The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship.  The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship.  If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they won’t be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship.  The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship. 

Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations.  It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems.  If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.

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