Do You Know If Your Relationship Is On the Rocks?

No-one wants a relationship to end and if it does it can sometimes come as a big shock, leaving you feeling confused and not sure why it happened.  A break up can leave you feeling betrayed, rejected and can really put a dent in your self-confidence.

After a break up you will often find yourself wondering why it happened and what you could have done to save the relationship.  You will begin to ask yourself what you did wrong and what you could have done differently.  All those ‘what if’ questions will start running through your mind.

Some relationships, even after a break up, can manage to repair the damage and get back on track.  But it really is much easier to save a relationship if you can prevent it from reaching break up stage.  As soon as you see any signs of trouble in a relationship you need to act fast to resolve it.

You can only take steps to resolve any issues if you are aware that there are issues.  If you can recognize the warning signs of a relationship in trouble then you have a good chance of repairing it and preventing a break up from happening.  It really is essential to know what signs to look for so you can save your relationship before it’s too late.

Let’s take a look at some of the common warning signs of a break up.

Is your partner avoiding you?  If your relationship has reached the stage when your partner seems to be spending more time with his mates than he does with you then this can be a warning sign that trouble is pending.  Is your partner avoiding your phone calls?  Is your partner avoiding spending any romantic time with you?  Has he increased his night out with the boys from once a week to three or four times a week?  A yes answer to these questions is a strong warning sign that your relationship is in strife.

Has communication between you and your partner become uncomfortable or non-existent?  A happy relationship needs to have good communication so if it seems that you are having trouble communicating with your partner then there might be something to worry about.  Lack of communication goes hand in hand with the avoidance issue – if you’re partner is heading off to bed early rather than sit and watch a movie with you, then he is avoiding you and avoiding communication.

Do you seem to be arguing more than normal?    All relationships have some problems and there will be arguments from time to time; that is completely normal.  No two people can agree 100% about absolutely everything; it is just human nature to disagree about some issues.  The problem comes when there seems to be more and more arguing and less and less normal conversation.  There is also the severity of the arguments and whether they have changed from general arguing to very hostile arguing.  Your relationship may be in trouble if you find that arguments have become a regular occurrence and your partner seems to be picking fights quite a lot.  Sometimes prior to a breakup a person may pick fights because it helps them to justify their intentions when they do finally make the break and end the relationship.

Avoidance, lack of communication and a lot of arguing are three big warning signs that your relationship is in trouble.  If you are aware of these signs and notice them soon enough then you can work toward resolving any problems and saving your relationship.

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Ending a Relationship is Never Easy

Ending a relationship can be really difficult and you don't want it to be any more upsetting than necessary.  If you are considering ending a relationship you might be contemplating the best way to do it, but is there really a right way?

Ideally it would be good to end a relationship on good terms and without too much drama and pain.  Unfortunately the ideal ending to a relationship doesn't happen very often, but instead relationships often end in a bad way leaving behind feelings of anger and sadness.  When the break up is drawn out and messy it can leave both parties furious at each other and very bitter.

If you know in your heart that your relationship is over and are just trying to find the right way to end it, then keep in mind that this person is one that you have loved and has shared a big part of your life.  Find the right time to talk to your partner openly and honestly and let them know exactly how you feel.  Let her know your true feelings but don't go blaming her for anything, as soon as you start the blame game that is when it can turn nasty.

If the breakup comes as a shock to your ex then she will have a thousand questions running through her mind, so the more that you can explain to her the better.  By explaining your feelings and your decision to your partner then it will also help you to know in your own mind that you are making the right decision.  If you have been in the relationship for a long time then you really do want to take the time to break it to her gently and not just walk out leaving her wondering what happened.

You never know if you sit down and talk about how you are feeling you might even come up with another solution rather than just ending the relationship completely.  Perhaps you can spend some time apart to think things through and evaluate your situation before making a final decision one way or the other.

Or course this advice above is based on a relationship that has been reasonably happy.  For example, things will be a bit different if you are ending a relationship because your partner is abusive.  If you make the decision to end a relationship that is abusive then it is usually best that you leave the relationship as soon as you can.  Some relationships can be so abusive that a person is too scared to leave for fear that their partner will find them, so you will need to plan your departure carefully and you may need to seek help.

Even if you are the person ending the relationship, you can still feel sadness and loneliness when it is over.  Just remember, that when one door closes another door opens and although the end of a relationship is a sad time, you are now beginning the rest of your life, so enjoy every minute of it.

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5 Dating Etiquette Tips For A Comfortable Date

1. Be Yourself:

When you go on a date there are certain things and ways you should behave. Of course you want the person to get to know you so you shouldn't try and be someone that you are not. This is extremely important and should be your number one priority.

Simply ask yourself this question, "Do I really want to start this date off with a lie or being someone I'm not?" Always remember either situation can come back to bite you later. Especially if you find out this is someone you would really like to have a meaningful relationship with.

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2. Personal Appearance:

When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. Make an effort to dress appropriately for the type of date you're going on. This will show the other person you care about your appearance but you also care about what they think about you. If you don't care about what the
other person thinks then you probably shouldn't be going out on a date with them in the first place.

3. Prior To The Date:

Depending on the person you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for your date.

If the woman you are going out with is a feminist, then let her open the doors and do things for herself or it will bother her. She also will want to pay for her own meal.

If you are not going on a date with an independent woman who is a feminist then you should open the doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.

4. Can you afford the date:

As you well know in today's economy many prices have gone up,  in restaurants, places of entertainment and especially night clubs and bars. Don't take your date somewhere you cannot afford and never find yourself asking your date for money to cover the bill. This may well put you into the most embarrassing spot you have ever been. Think about this? What if your date only had a few dollars for an emergency?

And suddenly you find yourself and your date explaining to a police officer why you were trying to stiff the restaurant or place of entertainment. In some cities and towns you can be charged with a misdemeanor or even higher. To avoid this situation simply take a few minutes to call the places where you are planning on taking your date.

5. Asking Your Date Questions:

Dating etiquette also includes not making the other person feel as if they are on an interview. It is common for people on a date to ask many questions as they just want to get to know the other person.
However, don't make them feel as if they are on an interview or you might scare them off. Be sure to create a comfortable atmosphere.

In conclusion dating etiquette can make the difference if the date is a fun and exciting date or a complete dud. The majority of the time you won't  have to think about it, as you will just do it naturally.

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Managing the Relationship Matrix

In general a matrix is a table of data containing information in both rows and columns. Specifically a relationship matrix could be one that is used to determine your genealogical relationship to another.  However in terms of relationships, the relationship matrix often refers to how compatible you and your partner are in respect to certain issues such as communication, interests, and financial and career.  While the partners do not have to agree completely in all or any of these areas, finding a balance is critical to a healthy relationship. 

Communication is one of the factors in the relationship matrix.  Style of communication can vary from speaking based on emotion and without much thought to your words to speaking based on logic and putting much thought into what you plan to say before you begin speaking.  On one hand the speaker who relies on emotion, often speaks from their heart and their words usually reflect their feelings at the moment they are speaking.

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On the other hand there is a speaker who relies on logic and often spends much time calculating their words before they speak.  This speaker rarely reflects their emotions in their words and instead relies on facts to support their argument.  While neither style of speaking is right or wrong, conflict may arise in a relationship if the partners are on opposite ends of the spectrum.  These problems may arise if the partner who speaks on emotion is frustrated with the lack of emotion and slow speech of the logical speaker and the logical speaker is in turn frustrated by the lack of restraint shown by their partner.  The partners can help to manage this part of the relationship matrix by trying to meet somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.  The emotional speaker may agree to take some time to step away from their emotions for a few minutes before speaking and the logical speaker may agree to try to speak more freely and without so much restraint in the future. 

Interests and hobbies is another aspect of the relationship matrix that can either doom or enhance a relationship.  Sharing common interests can be beneficial to a relationship because it fosters closeness and a bond between the partners.  They are able to enjoy a common interest or hobby and doing so brings them closer together.  If a couple has no common hobbies, this can be detrimental to the relationship because the members of the couple may feel as though their partner is not taking an interest in their activities.  While this may sound simple enough, it is important to realize that balancing out this aspect of the relationship matrix is very important.  Having too many interests in common can result in one or both of the partners feeling as if they are being smothered while showing no interest in your partner's activities indicates a lack of caring. 

Financial and career aspirations are a tricky part of the relationship matrix that can be a source of much strife in a relationship.  There are two extremes for approaching finances and career.  On one extreme there is the logical and conservative partner while on the other extreme is the emotional and liberal partner.  These two extremes can be a recipe for disaster so it is necessary for this couple to find a sense of balance.  While one partner may be a risk taker in terms of their finances and career the other prefers a more conservative route.  Such extremes often result in the partners becoming frustrated with each other.  This frustration stems from the partners both being uncomfortable with the others approach.  For example the more liberal partner may be upset that the more conservative partner sticks with an unfulfilling job just because the pay is good while the conservative partner may be frustrated that the liberal partner works at a low pay job just because it is enjoyable.  In order to resolve any issues and avoid future conflict, it helps if the partners can come to an agreement that is more to in the middle of the road.  Reaching a compromise that is moderate instead of conservative or liberal will ensure that the financial aspect of the relationship matrix is balanced. 

The key to managing the relationship matrix is balance.  Finding a compromise in regards to crucial issues of the matrix such as communication, interests and finances will result in a much happier and healthier relationship.  While complete agreement is not critical to the survival of the relationship, a willingness to make compromises and understand your partner's positions on the matrix is critical.

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The Top Five Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship

If you haven’t had much chance to see how healthy, loving relationships work on a daily basis, taking some time to really study the characteristics of healthy relationships can give you a much better chance of having one yourself. There are lots of different styles of relationships that can work just fine, but all those successful relationship styles tend to have a few things in common.

Respect

Respect is the one of the main characteristics of a healthy relationship, whether it’s friendship, dating, or marriage. A partner who respects you is willing to listen to you in a non-judgmental way and considers your interests when making any mutual decisions. Any partner who disrespects you by making belittling comments about you, criticizing you in front of others, or disregarding your feelings is one you don’t need.

Support

After respect, support comes in next as a critical characteristic of a healthy relationship. You and your partner should be encouraging each other to go after important goals and dreams and giving each other enough freedom to do so. When times get hard, you back each other up instead up tearing each other down.

That doesn’t mean you can expect support for everything you do, though. If your partner is nagging you to quit smoking, eat better, or not stay at the office until 11 o’clock every night, they’re probably doing it out of concern for your well being.

Trust

In a strong, healthy relationship, neither of you should become suspicious or jealous without clear cause. If you have a niggling feeling that you can’t trust your significant other, your relationship will go downhill fast.

That sense of trust doesn’t develop overnight, though. It comes from each partner keeping their promises and sticking to the implicit rules of the relationship (no sleeping around, no lying about major issues, etc.) consistently over a period of time.

No manipulative behavior

Negotiating is one thing, using threats, guilt, and lies to manipulate a partner into doing something is another. No one should have to put up with being bullied this way. If your partner threatens to leave you, withhold physical affection, or in some other way “punish” you during every little disagreement, you may want to reconsider the relationship.

Economic equality

This is one of the less obvious ones, but it’s just as important as the others. Some people, maybe due to an underlying fear of not being able to support themselves, tend to get into relationships where they’re financially dependent on their partner.

At first, the idea of having someone support you might sound nice, but what happens if things turn sour? If you don’t have the financial wherewithal to leave the relationship when you want, you could find yourself at the mercy of someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Never let your partner use money to control you.

There are dozens of characteristics of a healthy relationship, but these are some of the most important ones. Remember, though, it’s a two way street. You may be doing everything “right,” but if your partner is disrespectful, unsupportive, or manipulative, you can’t call it a healthy relationship.

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